Once I was comfortable with the idea that my ex and I were completely over, I gave the idea of dating a try. Within the span of three weeks I was completely turned off by the idea! I had been on one date that ended almost as soon as it began; the second guy had to be taught a lesson on the difference between a girl and a woman and I was more than glad to teach him.

The first guy that I went out on a date with was very attractive and seemed to have a real good head on his shoulders. That great impression lasted all until our appetizer had arrived at the table. Before I had a chance to really find out more about him, he asked about when he would get the opportunity to meet my daughter so that he could prove to me how excellent he was with children. THAT WAS AN INSTANT TURN OFF. I hardly knew if I was interested in seeing him again, so how could I ever allow my daughter to meet a guy that I had no idea would be around possibly forever? I explained my concerns to him and instead of him dismissing his prior request the man tried to convince me to change my mind. “How will I ever be sure that you’re the woman I want to have kids with if I can’t first see how you interact with your current one?”  Now, he and I had only had a few phone conversations which went over the basics. What do you do for a living? What are some of your dreams and goals? How do you plan to accomplish them? I don’t know why this fool thought that I would be interested in having such a deep conversation with a man I barely knew. Once I made the decision that there was nothing he could say or do I replied the only way fit. “CHECK PLEASE!”

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 The second BOY that I even considered going on a date with clearly had no idea how he needed to handle a woman, and what do you do with children who don’t know any better? You teach them a lesson!

 I loved how dedicated he was to his job and school. He had big dreams and aspirations and seemed to put in the time and effort needed to get them accomplished.  After a few phone conversations and text messages, he had me intrigued enough to go out on a date with him. “Instead of just going out somewhere, you can just come to my house and we can do whatever here,” was the date he suggested to me when he finally got the nerve to ask me out. “Sir, I’m not sure what type of women you are used to dealing with, but I don’t go home with anyone and especially not on the first date,” I replied back to him in a take it or leave it kind of tone. “That’s fine. I guess I will find someone who is available tonight that wouldn’t mind being less stuck up,” he replied. I could not believe that he thought that because I had class and standards that it made me stuck up, but it just proved to me how small minded some men could actually be.

Later that evening, he replied that he never asked anyone out because he was interested to see where things could possibly go with us and had asked for another shot to try to impress me. I didn’t respond to him that evening or for the next two days after that. On the third day, he called me to tell me that he was having a get together at his house and would love it if I could attend that evening.  Since I had already accepted the fact that I would not be interested in pursuing anything further with him, I didn’t see any reason not to go and enjoy the man’s food and refreshments. (My mother use to always say “You can be mad at the person, but not at the food!)

When I got to his apartment that evening I was completely shocked to be the only one there, and he didn’t even have a cold drink available to wet my pallet if I got thirsty! Normally, I would have cursed him out and kept it moving, but I realized that I was not going to let him get the satisfaction of knowing he ticked me off. He explained to me that all the other guest were coming later and that he and I could just enjoy each other’s company until they arrived. His apartment was comfortable, but it needed a woman’s touch. I told him that he needed to go to the store immediately and buy everything on the list I prepared for him. While he was gone I took that time to give his home an official cleaning and took it upon myself to take all of his home décor that he had buried in a box in the closet and placed items nicely throughout the house to make it more comfortable. I lit some candles and by the time he returned his bland apartment looked like a much more comfy place to call home. He was completely shocked. I told him to go and take a relaxing bubble bath while I got all of the food for the evening ready. After he was finished getting ready he was surprised to come to the kitchen to find that the rice and beans and potato salad were already finished and all he had to do was finish cooking the stewed chicken and dumplings. “Thank you so much. I have never received such wonderful treatment from any female that wasn’t my mother,” he said as he expressed with much gratitude. “I don’t know how I got so lucky to meet someone as wonderful as you. I can’t wait to see you again,” he said while reaching in for a kiss. Instead of the kiss he was hoping for, he received a nice church hug and a brief peck on the cheek. “Well I hope it’s now obvious that the girls you are used to are just that. What you need in your life is a woman, someone who knows how to get things done and can help you out when you need it.” He agreed with my statement at least a thousand times before he finally walked me to my car to say good evening. He expressed several times that he wished I could stay and meet everyone but I insisted that it was too early and that he should just enjoy a nice evening with his friends.

Later that evening, he called me to tell me how much everyone had loved what I did with the place and how much they enjoyed my cooking. “After I showed my friends your picture, they agreed that you were a keeper and that I needed to do everything possible to make you mine,” he said. Little did he know that those were my exact intentions; I wanted him to experience what it felt like to be in the presence of someone who wanted more than his money and to sleep with him. I wanted him to understand that woman with morals and values still existed and when he had the chance to find a gem he should treat her with the respect that she deserved.

“Aw. That is so sweet of them and I’m glad everyone enjoyed everything,” I responded. “When will I be able to see you again,” he asked bluntly. “Do you remember the conversation that we had when I told you that I’m single because I understand my worth and I refuse to settle to anyone’s standards of what they feel a women should be,” I asked him completely avoiding his advance to see me again. “How could I ever forget it? You made it known that you’re different and I can finally see now just what you mean. Despite how disrespectful I was in the beginning you still came over here and handled yourself like the woman that you are. You showed me exactly why I was single, and it’s because I realize now that I’ve been waiting for someone like you,” he stated. “I’m glad to hear that you feel that way. Maybe next time when you have the opportunity to deal with a mature women again you will show her the respect that she deserves and at least agree to take her out for a nice evening before being so blunt to invite her over to your house.” By his silence, I could tell that he was completely puzzled by my response. “So does this mean that it’s too late to take you out for a nice date now,” he asked timidly. “That’s exactly what this means. Next time do things the right way or not at all. Have a good evening and good luck to you and all of your endeavors. I don’t have any hard feelings about anything, so please don’t be embarrassed to speak if you ever see me out and about. It was a pleasure meeting you. Goodbye” I didn’t even give the any chance to answer or explain anything because I had no desire to waste any more of my time.

Moral Of the Story: Lauryn Hill said,

“Don’t be a hard rock when you really are a gem. RESPECT IS JUST A MINIMUM.”

What you say is law! They can love it, or leave you the hell alone!