Case of the Ex
I’m so happy in my present, that I
actually hate talking about him or
reliving my past with him. I think
that’s the reason that it took me eight months to finally get my blog going. I
never talk negatively about him to our daughter because I don’t want her to
have those same feelings towards him. I want her to grow up and to be able to
have her own opinion of him. I knew that once I reached out to help other women
in my same situation that I would eventually have to talk about him and what went
terribly wrong with us. I’m glad I did though because this has definitely been
therapeutic. Writing my story and then
reading it over reminds me that I’m not crazy for ending things with him, and
that I would be a fool to think that anything would really change if I went
back to where I was once ‘comfortable’.
A couple of months ago, he reached
out to me and seemed like he was trying to be friendly and that is honestly all
that I’ve wanted since the split. I mean we are stuck with each other FOREVER
and not just 18 years like some people like to say. As long as my daughter and
I are living I look forward to spending every birthday, holiday, and exciting
moment in her life there with her front and center. If I had things my way
instead of splitting that time with her, he and I could be cordial enough to be
in the same room. To some it might sounds crazy, but to me I wouldn’t be
bothered to be in the same room with him and his significant other because the
most important thing is I would be able to spend all of those exciting moments
with my child.
Anyway, what I took as him being
friendly was actually his ploy at trying to get some! He had promised me up and
down that he had learned his lesson about disrespecting me and that I wouldn’t
have to hear any derogatory word from him towards me ever again. He seemed so
sweet and sincere that if I would have been that foolish girl he thought I was
that I might have just believed him. His ‘new beginning’ lasted about a whole
two days when I finally SHUT HIS ADVANCES DOWN! I’m not sure what part of we’re
over he mistook for him being allowed to come and mess with me whenever he
wanted, but clearly he misunderstood my reasons for being nice to him, but as I
expected he went right back to his same old nasty ways. I’m really glad that it happened that way because I
would be a liar if I said I never thought that it would be easier to just have
him as a roommate again then to do it all by myself. That reminded me that
sometimes it doesn’t matter how much space or distance you put between you and
your ex some people are just not meant to be together. We broke up for a reason,
and I’m proud of who I have become without him. Why would I really lower my
standards and take a step back when I’ve made so much progress already?
Moral
of the story: A wise woman does not give anyone, much less a man, the power to
make or break her. He is an Ex for a reason! I realized that even with all of
the hard work I’ve put into changing myself it has been a hard journey, so if
it’s hard for me to change myself it’s next to impossible to change someone
else.
OMG! I can totally relate. My ex and I were not friendly at all towards each other for a long time. He has recently attempted the same "nice guy act" you describe here. He must think I am still the young dumb girl who fell in love with him 8 years ago. NOT! I know his game, and I know his ploy! It's so refreshing to see others overcome obstacles similar to my own. It makes the process seem much more "normal".
ReplyDeleteWasn't that such a good feeling to shut him down? Oh my gosh I loved it lol. It just shows that our little babies had a hand in helping us grow into the women we are now.
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