I received that question on my tumblr page & decided that instead of just answering the question with a smart ass response like I would usually do that I would actually create a post on it. SHOUT OUT to all my male readers by the way!! 

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And if I had any doubt that I was the problematic one in relationships, my sister just confirmed it.

"What you need to do is find a nice guy who doesn't mind that you're a bitch," she said over a glass of wine during our catch up time.

I pondered on what she said for a minute and found a brief relief from the hope that that kind of man truly existed. Then it hit me: that kind of man was real. In fact, I happened to know a few of them, and I had friend zoned them all. 

They're sweet, nice, funny, great listeners, understanding, and are always there no matter what. The best part of it all is that they don't mind that I'm a bitch because they actually find it to be quite humorous. They are literally perfect. They actually seem too perfect for a beast like me. Which is exactly why I'm infamous for friend zoning some of the most phenomenal men I've ever met. 

I always screw things up. If it isn't my poor communication skills, my prideful ways, my occasional tantrum to have things my way, my smart ass mouth, or my need for frequent space creates too much of a gap between me and who ever I deal with. I'm not sure if it's because I'm a writer or because I'm an Aquarius, but I need space and freedom like I need air or a pen and paper. I can literally lock myself in my house with only my notebook, a pen, and a bottle of wine for a weekend and be 100% happy and content. Obviously that doesn't seem to sit too well with a man when he wants to understand why I'm physically and mentally unavailable to him. 

So I've come to the realization that it's best that I friend zone these men that most women dream of. If I don't then I know the beast inside of me, that I've been working really hard to keep dormant, would rear her ugly head and have a hand in destroying something as precious as a man who actually has it all. I'd crush him, his heart, and that amazing spirit that comes with him. I'd continue the cycle of the problem with romance by depleting him of these priceless traits just to send him out into the world as just another asshole. It's unfair to a man who deserves it all to not get everything that he wants, but trust me I know I'm doing the right thing. 

I want perfection, but if I'm sent this perfect man I'll either friend zone him or screw it up some how. I figure that while there is a huge possibility that my love life might just be dead forever because of all of my issues it is better to have a good man around even if it's only as a friend.