The beautiful thing about being alone and open is some of the sweet surprises that come when you least expect it.

Every week I go on a date with myself. I go to the same small sushi spot, around the same time, and order the same thing. 

My second week doing this, I decided to sit at the sushi bar instead of the comfy leather booths I usually sat in whenever I have a chance to eat there. After ordering my Banzai (plum wine and Sake - GENIUS COMBINATION BTW & I highly recommend it) a young handsome gentleman sat down beside me. 

ESPN was on covering a recent game. I made a statement out loud, and he used that as an invitation to strike up a conversation. We talked that day about sports, teams, and players, and when his lunch break was over he paid for his meal and resumed his day.

Soon, what was supposed to be a date by myself began to be my date with a stranger. We would always engage in intellectual conversations based off of whatever they were talking about on the flat screen TV that sat in front of where we ate. I enjoyed the spontaneity of what we talked about and his knowledge on multiple subjects. One week we’re debating on political issues, the next week we are reliving sports history, only to talk about the gossip around Justin Bieber the following week. 

Today the small sushi spot was crowded with patrons eager to enjoy what they could in the last 60 minutes before the restaurant closed for the next few hours. 

My usual spot was occupied and the only thing left was a booth. Even though our arrangements were never planned, he walked in, like clock work, five minutes after I did. There were no seats open so I raised my index finer to signal for him to join me.

"You know they have a name for people who drink before 5 PM," he joked as he took his seat across from me. 

"Hell, it’s 5 PM somewhere," I spat back to join him in what seemed to be our new dance.

He chuckled as he adjusted his suite jacket before picking up the menu.

This was becoming routine for us. He would say something about my drink of choice, I would give him a different feisty remark, and then he would pick up his menu. He already knew what he wanted; hell, I already knew what he wanted to order. 

The moment he put the menu down, he immediately noticed everything that was different with me. From the new hairstyle, to the gloss finish of my new nail polish, he took the time to acknowledge and compliment each one. It all felt real and genuine.

I thanked him for his kind words and gathered our menus before our waiter arrived to take our orders. 

Don’t ask me what he did for a living because I don’t know and I never cared to ask, and I think he knew that also. I don’t even know his name. He told me one or twice, but I forgot and wasn’t bothered by it enough to ask him again.

"There are better sushi restaurants than this one," he said. "You should check them out with me."

This wasn’t his first time asking me out. First it was the museum, the second time was to go watch a game, and the time after than was a poetry reading.

He paid attention to my interest and what I had shared with him; To a woman in her right mind this man would be a perfect catch, but I’m not in my right mind.

Once again, I politely declined his advance.His persistence was admirable, he was mentally stimulating and good to look at.

"Tory Burch," he said as he glanced down at the sandals on my feet, "nice". 

He really did notice everything; I liked that and several other things about him.

While I did share things about myself with him, I never told him about the battle that my heart and I had just gotten out of. I haven’t had enough time to sort out my feelings yet, and I’m not ready to have someone around. I don’t know when I’ll be ready for that & I’m not going to force it on myself.

With the tornado of emotions that I feel on a daily basis, I would easily destroy him.

I would chew him up, spit him out, and sadly enjoy it all if I allowed him to somehow become entangled with my mess. 

I just wanted his lunch hour and good conversation. I’m not sure what he was looking for, but I know I’m not it.

I’m going to take his advice, and I’m going to spend that time exploring different sushi restaurants in my city. 

& I’m going to continue looking until I’m sure that I’ve found the perfect one.