Don't Allow Someone Who is Confused to Confuse You Too (Reader Question)

Reader Question : "I <3 him like I love your blog! we been goin out for three years and everything was perfect in the beg. and now I don't know what I should do. I guess I should tell you that he is married but he said they are not together anymore and just live together because she doesnt work and he pays the bills to take care of her and the kids so he just stays there when hes not here with me. I want more but I want him too ----HELP----" 


I wish I had a kodak of how my jaw was literally on the ground after I read this. Now, ya'll know I love each and every one of you - I REALLY DO, so for that reason I have to give it to you straight (no chaser).

This is the only question out of all of the questions that I've received that I actually had more questions then answers. The only thing that is really clear here is that THE MAN IS MARRIED. He made the commitment in front of God, his family, HIS WIFE, and her family to love, cherish, honor, and obey her until death. That part is absolutely crystal clear.

Please don't think that I'm giving you a hard time, but I want you to understand that I've been on both ends of this equation. I was once engaged to a serial cheater, and I was once unknowingly the third wheel in someone else's relationship. I learned from both of them that it doesn't matter what side you're standing on because it's all going to lead to pain anyway. What else do you think would really happen when you love a man who only loves himself so he does whatever he wants with no regards to the feelings of others?

Love is hard to define because it's about feelings, but it's possible to get confused by it. There are so many other emotions that when given in large doses makes you feel like the only thing in the world it could be is love but if he loved you too it would bother him that his actions and lifestyle bother you. Love is selfless. Love is caring for someone more than you care about yourself and your own needs.

Did you ever stop to think what would happen if he really did leave his wife and made the decision to be with you? Do you think you would easily be able to trust him knowing that he is capable of what he's been doing for the last three years?

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again with expectations of a different result. You've put in three years of your life in this situation yet you want more? Sometimes somethings just have to change, and if you can't change your her man then you just may need to change your man.