Because Apparently He Needs to Be 'Army Strong'
The conversations that I have with my older brother, Rommel,
are priceless.
One night while he and I were walking and talking, he said
something to me that I think will stick with me forever.
He’s watched me fail (miserably) in every relationship that
I’ve even been in, so I know he can give me an honest assessment as to why.
(Cause let’s be honest, I can give you guys awesome advice but someone has to
make all of the mistakes so you guys know what not to do in a relationship
right?)
He pointed out something that I just recently admitted to
you guys about me being the impermeable membrane, and how I’ve got to come up
with my own core values in what I need from someone so I stop repeating the
same patterns.
He explained how in the army they have seven core values and
he was able to use that to develop his own list so he is better in control of
the people he keeps around him.
I took his suggestion and picked out my own seven
essentials:
- God has to be as important to him as He is for
me. - I don’t mind being a submissive woman and letting the
man be the man, but I can’t be led by a man that isn’t serious about following
THE man upstairs.
- He has to be family oriented. - Before I am anything, I am a mother. My daughter and I are a packaged deal. I’m not asking any man to be her daddy because she already has one, but I do need him to know that you can’t have one and not the other. YOU CAN LOVE IT OR KICK ROCKS! Two, I’m Hispanic and in my household anything is an excuse to get together, eat, and drink. He has to be able to not only accept that, but to blend in as well.
- He has to be very confident and trusting. I love people! Being a writer and a people lover
means I will talk to just about anyone about anything. (You never know who is
holding in an amazing plot or character idea!) I’m also a business woman who
works closely with other poets and authors. For example, my next poetry book
has me working very closely with a male poet exchanging some beautiful,
heartfelt poetry. While the work and feelings in the poem are real, I take my
role as CEO of my company seriously. I do NOT mix business with pleasure, so
therefore any man who deals with me should be confident enough in his position
in my life not to worry about the other things I also have going on.
- Time and consistency must be given freely. Being a full time mom, employee, and
business owner means that my schedule is hectic. I can handle a busy man. Hell,
I actually prefer it, but time with me has to be equally important to him.While most people feel that actions speak louder than words, I feel like consistency trumps all of that. “Always remain the same you and you won’t have to worry about a different me.”
- He has to be my partner and not my dictator. I will “play my position” of the woman and show my
man the same respect and dedication that my grandmother showed my grandfather
until he went home to the good Lord, but I will NOT be disrespected or
belittled. Respect me and my hustle, match my efforts, and help me build this
empire or just leave me to do that with God, peace, and the little bit of
sanity that I have remaining.
- He has to be honest. Self-explanatory: I don't want perfect, I just want honest.
- He has to be loyal. Once again, self-explanatory because if anyone can have it - I DON'T WANT IT!
Moral of the Story: The part of the conversation that
seriously stuck out to me was when he told me, “ I’m the start in my movie.” He
explained how he wasn’t going to change the direction of his life for someone
else and for that reason he wasn’t going to ask or require anyone else to change
theirs.
With that being said, I’m not asking for anything that I’m
not willing to give to someone. I’m not asking anyone to change their lives for
me because if it seems like the list above is asking for too much then I’m
clearly not for that person. Anyone dealing with me can fly and build with me
harmoniously otherwise I’m prepared to soar to my purpose solo. J
0 comments:
Post a Comment