“It’s my way or the highway”, “love me or leave me alone”, “if you don’t like it than don’t deal with me”.

Those have always been my favorite quotes to tell anyone who didn’t want to do things my way. To sum it up, I’ve been a serious control freak all of my life. If thing’s didn’t happen the way I wanted it to, I was prepared to bitch, scream, throw a tantrum, or cut someone off completely.

The worst situation I’ve tried to control is the relationship between my daughter and the man that helped me give her life.

For such a long time I’ve been upset that he hasn’t been up to the standards of what I believe a father should be, and for that reason I’ve negated the things he has attempted to do (which I’m sure contributes to him not wanting to do more than he has); I have even been guilty of using my daughter as a pawn in this constant battle that he and I seem to be in.

It seems like the last year of my life has been one big war. He’ll do something to piss me off, and then I will retaliate and vice versa. The saddest part about the situation is that none of what he and I do to personally hurt the other has ever benefited the only thing that he and I will forever have in common. Instead of finding a way to effectively co-parent and make her life easier, we have been at war at who can make the other person’s life the most miserable.

I’m over playing the blame game and insisting that he is the sole cause of all of our relationship and parenting failures. I realize now that my desire to constantly be in control of everything and everyone around me makes getting along with me a huge pain in the ass at times.

One would think that since he and I have made it so obvious that we have no desire to be together that we should be able to deal with each other in a more harmonious way. So here it is: my official white flag to end this unnecessary combat.

He is never going to see things completely my way and I will never see things his way, but if we can come together as a team and complete the overall goal to raise a young lady with values, morals, self-respect, self-worth, and dignity, than the rest of the B.S is obsolete. The way I see things now, is that if the time and lessons on love my daughter learns from her father keeps her from dealing with some of the scumbags and bull crap that I’ve had to endure, then I’ve won the most important fight ever.

Moral of the Story: If everyone was a thousand percent in control of their life than we would all be happy, rich, and successful. NO ONE but God is in control and for that reason life should simply be enjoyed and not spent fighting over the wheel.