A few months ago I started volunteering in the children’s department at my church. I love being around children, and since mine was on vacation it really helped me to be around other people’s children. Not to mention, with me no longer working it helped me fill a lot of those long lonely days. 

One of the requirements that was needed to build my volunteer profile at the church required me to complete a short questionnaire. The whole purpose of the questionnaire was to find out what were some of our strong points and what we could bring to the organization.

After I completed what she asked me to do, my pastor went over my answers with a few other volunteers. 

“God gives us all talents. It’s hard to recognize them sometimes because they don’t always come in the form of singing or dancing. The top two categories that you receive from this questionnaire are talents that God gave you in order to help him accomplish his work here.”

So I totaled all of the different sections and I was not surprised at my answers. My top two talents were mercy and faith. I always knew I was more compassionate then most people, but I always assumed my positive outlook on life was from just being very optimistic.

These last few months have shown me the importance of the old saying “Let go and let God”. Anyone that I’ve had a chance to talk to personally or I have given advice to would vouch that is my favorite piece of advice to give. I’ve shared to you guys before that I lost my job in May, my employer fought me on unemployment, my child’s father doesn’t give me a penny to help raise his kid, and the government makes you jump through more hoops than a circus to try to get cash assistance, yet I’m still here! I still have my home, my car, and my kid and I are able to eat every day.

I may not be able to live as lavishly and as comfortable as I have been used to living in the past, but  what I have gained in these few months are more important to me than anything cash could have given me. I learned the power of prayer because I pray for a way and he always provides. It may not come in the form of money, but he places the people that I need in my life to help me get through. I learned that not everyone in your circle wants to see you succeed. It’s crazy how many ‘friends’ I lost when everything seemed to go downhill for me, but all of the alone time gave me time to reflect on my life and where it was going.

Most importantly, I learned my purpose. I have spent so many years of my life in a classroom chasing a certification or degree for things I never wanted to be in order to be ‘somebody’. I tried nursing, massage therapy, and even medical assisting, but when I think about it I would never have been happy spending my life that way. I have always been passionate about reading and writing but always used the excuse that I could never make any real money from it or no one would care to read my work. I’m living life now by some of the best advice I’d ever received. “Do not live your life to chase money. Spend your life doing what you’re most passionate about and that way you’ll never feel like you’re working. The world will always need whatever you can bring to the table so DO IT because then the money will follow you.

Writing this blog has kept me from completely losing it! It also helps that so many of my readers have spent their precious time to acknowledge my work and how much they enjoy it. I once thought no one would care to read my work but the e-mails I have received from readers in other countries and continents proved that wasn’t true at all!

I’m not where I want to be, but I’m right where I need to be. I have faith that I’m not going to be stuck in this situation because I’m a child of God and I know I wasn’t put on this earth to live my life struggling and barely making it. I needed this time to learn about life, myself, and to help build a better relationship with my kid. I know that this time was needed to prepare me for my biggest blessing ever!

Moral of the story: There are going to be moments when everything is dark, you’re going to feel alone and even lost, but it’s in those moments when you really find out who you are and what you’re capable of. You’re not going to understand why you face every trial and obstacle and you’re not meant to, so in the meantime laugh at the confusion because in the end you’ll be victorious anyway.