Here's to the Future Because I'm Done With the Past (Reader Question)

Reader Question: BREAK UPS SUCK BALLS! My man and I broke up after three years together of being off and on..I know this is really it tho. How the hell are you able to just move on?

WHEW! Let me start off by saying that it wasn't easy & because I really did love him the love never went away so it's still a process. Even though it's not easy and it does hurt, YOU CAN DO IT!

First things first, you need an amazing support system. My mother, sister, brothers, and best friend were literally my crutches for a while.

Next, understand that happiness is a choice. Obviously it is hard to choose to be happy when you're dealing with a broken heart, but you'll have to! Give yourself a grieving period and stick to it. During your grieving period listen to the most depressing music you can find (Brandy's "Have You Ever" worked for me every time!) and just cry your eyes out. Read his old text messages, watch a bunch of romantic movies, reminisce on all of the great times you had together, and then just cry until you can't cry anymore. This is your time to be as sad, irritable, and as bitchy as you wanna!

Now here is the fun part. Once you've reached your deadline for your grieving period there is NO turning back! Delete that depressing playlist, and get rid of everything that reminds you of him and do it all with a smile (yes that includes those text messages and pictures of you two on social media. You're starting over and don't need any kind of distractions from a blast from your past.) The first few times will be really hard, but trust me it will be worth it. You'll have to force it the first few times and if you're like me it will be really awkward looking, but like everything else- it gets better with time.

Make sure that your support system is also aware of your deadline. That really helps out a lot. I won't forget how one night after a few too many drinks I found myself browsing through his social media sites again. I went to tell my best friend my findings, and her response shocked me because she had been so sweet and understanding during my grieving period originally. "Bitch you sound real thirsty right now. He clearly doesn't care about you. It's over. Move the fuck on." Well damn!

It's not easy, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I can personally promise you that once you find it you'll never be the same again. I've conquered the heart break of losing someone I considered my soul mate, so I know I can dominate ANYTHING!

Good luck doll xoxoxo