Never Let Someone Who Adds Very Little To A Relationship Control So Much Of It (Reader Question)

Reader Question: I've been seeing this guy for three years now and we don't seem to be anymore serious now then we were when we first met! I haven't met his family and when I ask where we are going he dodges the question or gets mad. What should I do?

First off, I've been there before and I know first hand exactly how frustrating this situation can be. My fellow author, Coach John Holley, posted a really great article on his website the other day. It goes over how to identify if you're chasing an emotionally unavailable man. I'm sure based off of this question alone, you'll notice that your scenario comes up at least twice: he gets mad when you ask the direction of the relationship, and he is dodging your questions.

Now we all know that knowing is half of the battle, but after I found out that I myself had been fooled by chasing a man that was not available to me, I had to know WHY I allowed myself to fall into an absolute dead end relationship. After conversing with a few friends I quickly found out that answer.

Being someone who has always had a tendency to be difficult to love, it was no wonder that I was drawn to a man who I figured needed it the most. I figured maybe if I showed him the love that I secretly wanted that he would let down those walls he had built and finally let me in, but boy was I wrong. It seemed that the more I pushed, the further he got away from me. The more I tried the harder our relationship got altogether. All of these memes, tumblr images, and instagram pictures have us so fooled by actually believing some of these quotes. I had seen the meme re-posted a thousand about the person who is the most difficult to love often needs it the most, blah, blah, blah. While sometimes that may be true, don't get yourself caught up in the hype.

Why are you still holding on to a relationship that clearly isn't offering what you feel that you need? Do you feel like you're actually still in love with this man, or are you simply in love with the idea of the possibility of who this man could actually be in your life? In my opinion, I feel like you already know the answer to your own question. We're only getting older, and time waits for absolutely no one. I challenge you to take a moment and focus on what YOU need out of a relationship or what I like to call your seven core values. Does the man you're seeing measure up to the man that you actually need in your life? If he doesn't then you know exactly what you need to do next.