Many moons ago, I posted a post where I polled some friends about what was the best way to get over someone. To my surprise, many of my home girls and home boys seemed to agree that the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else. Now let me remind ya’ll that this is a judgment free zone, but this can’t be real life.

If ya’ll read Wednesday’s post, then you’ll see that I needed to break down that question into two answers. The fact that my lovely reader specifically mentioned her ex suggested one thing to me: maybe she’s not ready to be in the dating game again.

Dating is a risky game we play. You’re either going to marry that person or break up (believe me because I know! I have two marriage proposals under my belt, but I’m still as single as a dollar bill.) The thing that really sucks is having to start over AGAIN with someone else, but before you do that you have to make sure you’re ready to start over with someone else.

I've seen memes on social media that says things like: “I just wanted you to love me while I fixed myself.” I really wish I could find who started that ish and slap the hell out of that person. NO ONE in this world owes you a damn thing, so why would anyone expect someone else to tag along on a journey that is only meant for one? You can’t fix yourself if you’re relying on the support of someone else to get you through (except the support of your support system!) I can PROMISE you that no matter how hard it gets you can do it – ALONE.

Date yourself, and give those broken pieces to God. Let him mend you, find out things about yourself, discover what you want in a partner, and bask in the moment of being by your damn self. The purpose of this is so your next one doesn't have to pay for pain from your ex.

Moral of the Story: You can't carry around baggage with bricks from your past relationships. For one, no one wants to deal with that crap. Most importantly, a real relationship is going to require a strong foundation. If you use those old bricks (pain, anger, fear, mistrust, etc) from the past to build a new house - you're going to find yourself in that same house! Stop the madness, and love yourself  first before trying to love someone else.