Do Good Men Even Exist Anymore? (Reader Question)
First of all, you know you've asked a great question when it's going to take two posts to answer it completely, but I'm going to stick to the important manner at hand. Now you knew when you sent me this e-mail that I was going to give it to you straight with no chaser, so don't get all sensitive to what you need to know. Great men most definitely still exists. Hell, I've been blessed to have a few friends that are living proof of that, but you attract not what you want, but who you are!
When I was with my child's father, we used to go fishing very often. A huge part of fishing is not only catching the fish but also being patient. It is very important to know that in your stillness you are going to attract the perfect catch to you. While it's important to maintain this optimistic approach, sometimes we would wait forever just to end up with a few fish that were not worth holding on to so we would let them go immediately. Some fish had a lot of potential, so we held on to them until we reached the maximum we could carry. Once we reached that limit if we found any that were better then the ones we already had we would dump the one that wasn't beneficial to us anymore, and sometimes we would sit still for hours and catch absolutely nothing! When those moments of frustration from sitting in the hot Florida sun for nothing came around I couldn't blame those stupid fish. Instead, I had to pay attention to other important things: my location, my timing, and my bait.
- Where are you picking up these men that always seem to be 'no good'?
- Are you giving yourself enough time to heal before jumping back into the dating pool?
- How are you presenting yourself to these men you are trying to date?
I had a friend once who would always want to go to the club the moment her and her on again off again boyfriend found themselves off again. She would find the shortest, most revealing outfit she could find and hit the town for a good time. She would get drunk, flirt with a good looking man, and get pissed when he would only be interested in doing something immediately after the club.
"What do I look like some kind of hoe," she would ask angrily. Knowing she was under a lot of stress I would keep my opinion to myself an act as if she had asked me a rhetorical question, but she couldn't really expect a decent man to even look her way as she stumbled down the street with her goodies just hanging out right?
I challenge you to stop blaming the men when there are still great men waiting for greater women. Instead, why don't you try changing your bait? If you're trying to attract a respectable, ambitious man, are you that way first and do you display that? Finally, take this opportunity of solitude to understand you. What do you really want out of a man besides him being nothing like your ex? Even more important then that, when you find that man what can you offer his life besides complaints and baggage filled with hurt from your previous relationships?
Good Luck xoxo
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