Confession of A 'Real Love' Lover

If you've followed my blog, then you know I can be completely stubborn and hard with matters dealing with my heart. After all, my most commonly used quote to ANY guy I've dealt with is, "You can love me or leave me alone". To be honest,  as much as I like to play this tough, hard ass, non emotional female in relationships I am actually the complete opposite. I'm not sure if it's because I'm an Aquarius or if it's the writer in me,  but I sincerely believe it is possible to find that fairytale book happy ending. So despite my past crazy relationships, I never lost hope that my handsome knight in shining armor would woo me beyond my wildest dreams and fight desperately through all of the thick walls I've put up to protect my heart.

Surprisingly when I finally met him, he didnt do any of those things. He wasnt the first man I dated after my ex, but he was the first one that intrigued me enough to pursue something more. He was incredibly attractive and possessed the one trait I always longed for in a partner- immeasurable intelligence.  I couldn't get enough of picking his brain through our many debates and conversations, he was also my friend that seemed to support everything I did, and he was my rock to help me when it seemed I had no one else to depend on,  so no matter how hard I fought I fell helplessly and madly in love with him.

I thought the one who was going to teach me about real love was going to be romantic and super sweet but it was the complete opposite. To me, he was like a mirror; he was a reflection of everything I had been to everyone before him. He had a rough past, trust issues and his "love me or leave me alone" attitude was worse than mine! For this though,  I loved him even more. Instead of having someone work to break down my walls, mine seemed to disintegrate as I perilously tried to work my way into his heart.

Unfortunately, my efforts were unsuccessful. I had said 'I love you' to men before him, but for the first time ever he made me understand what real love was. I would be a liar if I said I wasn't heartbroken over this, but instead of being sad I'm just happy that it ever happened.

Moral of the Story: Not ever dream or prayer you pray is meant to come true. What is meant to be will be and if not it only means that something better is out there waiting. When I finally find it I will be ready for it. He wont have to deal with a stubborn, heart broken little girl, but instead a woman with lots of love to give and someone finally ready to give it.