Because If Nothing Changes Than Nothing Changes
My faithful readers know that Khloe has been harassing me for the longest time about having siblings soon, so naturally she was excited to see me in a new found relationship. Why? Because she knows that without a good man and a marriage her dreams will not be coming true ( at least on my end.)
Anyway, the two of them had developed such a beautiful relationship that she seems to be having a difficult time with the adjustment as I am. Every night before bed she prays for him, and she includes him in her morning prayers also. She'll even call every now and then just to check up on him to make sure he is doing ok. (While this is all super cute and everything, dealing with one broken heart is bad enough. I hate that it feels like I'm dealing with two now.)
If you've followed my blog then you'll quickly see that I have no problem telling a man, "You can love me or leave me alone." If you go back to old posts, you'll see my pride in how comfortable I am being alone. In fact, I even wrote a poem about it once.
Even though he's gone,
His presence is everywhere.
His scent is embedded in my nostrils,
And his laugh echos softy in my ears.
He's not here,
But oddly I feel his tender touch like he's near.
I miss him,
But I missed this woman of strength that I am more.
Loneliness is an addictive drug
Because once you've tasted freedom, joy, and peace on your own
Nothing else will ever be sweeter.
Sure I love my freedom. I love being able to do what I want, how I want, and when I want without having to hear any complaints or opinions from anyone else. I discovered when I made my post, The Struggles of Being An Alpha Female, that I've only been taking the easy way out all of this time. I no longer want my selfish behavior in relationships to affect the way my daughter will view love and relationships. I really plan to break the cycle on everything I've seen with her. So, I'm starting a 90 challenge to change that. I no longer have any desire to be an Alpha Female. Instead I would rather be a virtuous woman who is confident and bold through Christ. I'm going to be documenting everything here, but if you're trying to make your own change with me in the next 90 days, make sure you subscribe to my newsletter and follow me on Snapchat (Username: Keaidyb). Also, follow me on Facebook to see things for yourself also.
Moral of the Story: Now that I know first hand that I actually want to be in a relationship, I'm going to strive to make sure that I never end up in this situation ever again. The only way I can do that is to completely work on me while worrying about God first. While I could just join the 10 day or 30 day virtuous woman challenges I've seen, I'm no longer after a quick fix. I want to let patience have her perfect work so that I can be whole, complete, and wanting nothing else but the promises God has created just for me.
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